I’ve been doing something lately that I don’t normally do. I’ve been reading romance Novels. Okay, so I do in fact read. A lot. But, I’m thinking that I haven’t actually read a romance novel in….five or six years. But, after my recent posts about bad endings and referencing romance novels in it and the post about romancing the bartender, I decided to read a few just to be sure that I hadn’t misrepresented the genre. What did I find? A big ole pile of steaming Dog Shit.
It occurs to me after reading like…eight romance novels over the week and weekend, that the romance genre in the only genre of writing that has almost no fucking standards. As long as your book says the words “cock” and “pussy” in it, you’re a romance novelist. This is why, I think, the genre is looked down upon so often.
For instance, let’s look at the mystery genre to compare. Yes, if you are a mystery novelist, all you really need is an unknown plot or element that your readers can find out by the end of the story. Some sort of crime or anomaly has to take place for the Main Character to solve. Now, if your plot was easily guessed by the reader and your plot and mysteries were almost interchangeable between books, much like they are in romance novels (I mean I read some where you could literally just change out the character names and they’d still fucking work) readers wouldn’t enjoy them. I mean, let’s face it, no reader wants to read a mystery novel that they already know the ending by the middle of the book, why would they read the rest of the book? Why would they read another book from the same author if, every time, they can guess the ending.
I read some books by an Author named Alicia Montgomery. Sounds like a nice name, professional, respectable. And, I can appreciate a good author, I don’t care what genre it is, if their writing is up to par. Alicia Montgomery is one of the better romance novelists I read….which is the problem, because she made some stupid mistakes and had many, many missed opportunities in her novels.
I read properly length novels (60,000+ words) and shorter online novels. Every single one sounded the fucking same.
Alicia Montgomery’s mistakes were that no matter what her character’s disposition or personality, her sex scenes were literally the same. You could change them out for any other in any of her other books. It occurs to me, that if I were a romance novelist, I would not want all my sex scenes to feel the same. I mean, sex is the most personal and revealing thing in a relationship. If a relationship is doing great, usually, the sex reflects that. If it’s doing badly, usually the sex reflects that too. Sure, there are some instances where that isn’t always true, but for the majority of the time, sex can reflect how a relationship is doing.
So, why do all sex scenes sound the same in her books? I swear to god, I’m so fucking tired of reading the words “pussy” and “cock”. Alicia, do you have such an elementary vocabulary that you can’t think of any other words to describe sexual organs in a sexy way? This isn’t just a problem with her writing, it’s a problem with most Romance Novelists. They all sound the fucking same. It got to the point that I was rolling my eyes every time the words pussy and cock were used. Then, I started cringing.
Of course, this isn’t the biggest issue that I have with romance novels. The biggest issue I have is the fact that in order to get their characters to have sex, they put them in ridiculous situations. It got to the point that I was just imagining a god of sex and fate manipulating the situation from behind the scenes. That was the only way that these situations would make sense.
Can I just say, if you can’t get your characters to have sex without some sort of ridiculous situation popping up, then maybe your characters shouldn’t be having sex. Maybe, you should re think your characters and who they should end up with. I get the whole forbidden love thing, but why is it that every romance novel has this fucking concept in it? There is always something holding them back, obviously, or else it’d just be some sort of sex-fest. But, I’m tired of it. Of course, I did read different romance novels, from different authors, back to back. So, maybe I feel this way because of that fact. But, I can read any other genre, fantasy, mystery, drama, slice of life, anything, and I do not feel that way. I usually stick to fantasy or drama novels, but even though these are the genres I read the most, I do not find myself becoming bored with them because of them sounding the same. This is only a problem in the Romance Genre.
There are just no standards for writing in the romance genre. Nobody cares if their books make sense as long as they make their readers horny.
Just to clarify, Alicia Montgomery was one of the better authors I read. And even she had major issues in her books. What, you tell me, does that say about the drudge in the genre? There are shitty writers in any genre, but it seems they are drawn towards the Romance Genre. If the genre were to get some standards for their authors, I think they wouldn’t have such a stigma.
To be honest, I don’t care if someone only wants to read Romance novels. All that tells me is that they don’t care about substance in their reading.
Even big names in the Genre have issues. J.R. Ward’s characters all sound the same and her world building is sub-par. Sherrilyn Kenyon’s plots have become more and more ridiculous and her antagonists are semi-lacking. Of course, her antagonists are better than most in the Genre. At least they make some fucking sense. I read seven books in the J.R. Ward universe and the plotline was basically a sibling rivalry between gods and the dying race caught in between. It was irritating because all that needed to happen, was the god that created them to become uninterested in her race, since the only reason her brother was fucking with them was because she cared for them. All she had to do was turn a blind eye and not give a shit, or at least act like she didn’t give a shit, and her brother would have turned a blind eye to them and used a different method to hurt her. At least, that’s the “feeling” you get from the books. Then, J. R. Ward’s antagonists are the run of the mill baddies. No redeeming qualities at all.
I don’t know, maybe I expect too much from any book I pick up, no matter what genre it’s from. I guess that’s the problem, I have standards for any book I read and when it doesn’t reach those standards, it pisses me off. The biggest thing I hate in a book is when there is an actual good plot line and relatively easy readability, and then the author ruins it with bullshit and missed opportunities. These two mistakes are a plenty in the romance genre. Underdeveloped characters, sub-par plots and ridiculous and unbelievable circumstances. This is what I see in the Romance Genre.
Fuck off with that bullshit.
The Stories, 